Obviously difficult and seemingly impossible, long-distance relationships actually work. The experience for every couple is unique and different from others, and many do succeed. Emphasis on “many” because not all of them work out. Many also don’t, but what we’d like to point out here is that being in a long-distance relationship is not a bad thing like some stereotypically think. Although it could be a sad thing to be apart from your lover for a long time, still and all, it’s not wholly bad. Things could actually go very well, like many LDR couples have been experiencing.
There are two possible setups in long-distance relationships. One: the lover has to go abroad to study, work or live with the family (for unmarried and/or younger couples). Two: the couple has not seen each other yet in person (they could have met through social media.)
Whatever the setup is, it does not change the fact that being in an LDR is tough, challenging and testing. The number one struggle is, needless to say, the distance that physically separates the couple from each other. Of course, physical attachment, physical togetherness and skinship are nonexistent in long-distance relationships, and that’s quite hard to endure indeed. Nonetheless, because those things are not the only recipes of a real and healthy relationship, LDR can turn out good if both parties cooperate and do their best to make that happen.
If you and your partner are or will be temporarily very far from each other for a long time for non negotiable reasons, the list below is for you. Here are 6 useful tips to make long-distance relationships work well and survive. Share this to your significant other to make sure you make an effort as a team!
1 – Learn technology and use it.
Nowadays, everything is almost possible because of technology and its impressive advancements. Doing things is faster and more efficient. Moving from one place to another gives you assorted options. Communicating with people has never been so easy. Thanks to technology, long-distance relationships today have a better chance than ever.
If you are from a generation that has existed since before the dawn of state-of-the-art technology, specifically what we have in the modern day, you might be one of those people who say, “I’m not a techie.” While we cannot argue on that because time does change and things do progress along with it, there’s always room for learning.
Learn technology. That’s how you can use and take advantage of it for the sake of your relationship. Understand and practice using your mobile gadgets and social media. Aside from Facebook and Messenger, there are many other applications and websites to use that are ideal for hassle-free and high-quality communication. Skype, Zoom and Google Meet are among the most popular apps for video calling.
Getting the hang of it will take a few days or weeks, depending on your learning capacity and speed. Regardless, you will get used to it, and it will be part of your lifestyle while in that long-distance relationship.
2 – Stay true and loyal.
This has come on the list earlier than expected. It’s obvious, and it’s self-explanatory, but let’s still stress this invariable must.
Stay true and loyal. You committed yourself to that relationship and to your significant other. You know what’s right and wrong. Only do what’s right. Always do it. It should not be something forced but something automatic, natural and given.
Wherever you go, whoever you meet, stay truthful and faithful to your lover. When temptations come around, be smart; resist. You will see different people, and some of them will catch your attention, but look away, and don’t even think of committing a mistake because cheating is never an option.
3 – Trust your partner and be confident.
While you are staying sincere from afar, at the same time, put your trust in your partner. Be confident that they also value your trust and know their limits. If you both know that you have come to clear agreement about having a long-distance relationship, then you should also prepare your mind to avoid being skeptical and doubtful towards your partner, especially when you know that there’s no reason for that.
4 – Agree on clear schedules of virtually meeting up.
Since the only means of communication for you is through online chat messaging and video calling, besides text messaging and phone calling (which are expensive overseas), make time out of your busy and jam-packed personal schedules to spend time with each other virtually. Create schedules of virtually meeting up, so that you are sure that both will be available and won’t have any work or other duty to accomplish.
If you have a mutually assigned schedule for video calling (for hours), then one will avoid feeling upset when the other fails to respond to a message or to answer a call at an hour outside that time frame. Missed calls probably mean they are not available at the time you tried to call. They might be working, sleeping, driving or staying in a venue without Internet access, so they cannot receive your call. Same thing when you’re in their place.
If you know each other’s schedules, you are aware or you at least have an idea of what the other could be doing or where they could be, as the reason for their inability to pick up.
5 – Avoid TOO MUCH calling and chatting.
The only way to be with your lover while you are in a long-distance relationship is through text messaging or online communication apps. We get it. It’s completely fine, obvious and necessary.
However, one major tip is to avoid TOO MUCH calling and chatting. Pay attention to the capitalized T-O-O M-U-C-H. Of course, it’s a need to call each other because you are apart for the meantime, but don’t overdo it. Overdoing it becomes disadvantageous. How and why?
If you talk with each other everyday for like the whole day or almost, you might easily get tired of each other. You’re not even together, but there’s already a feeling of exhaustion and/or suffocation. The clinginess reached its unhealthy peak, and one cannot even have a personal time even when they’re alone. You won’t even feel excited to see each other anymore.
Just the right amount of communication is needed. It must be constant, but it should not literally be like every hour of every day.
6 – Avoid allowing lover’s quarrels to last a long time.
It’s somehow funny but another reality is that even in a long-distance relationship, lover’s quarrels exist. The reason? Well, the things that couples talk about online that lead them to arguing or to getting upset. They could be small and simple, or big and knotty. If things get worse, they could actually turn into huge relationship problems.
Unfortunately, it’s quite difficult to deal with disagreements and fights in a long-distance relationship because things are much easier to fix in person, when you can both see and speak with each other without barriers.
Commonly, when there’s a lover’s quarrel in a long-distance relationship, both do not or one does not reply to messages and answer calls. That’s how anger, gloom or frustration is typically expressed in such a setup. It’s not easy because they literally cannot be reached.
LOVE KNOWS NO DISTANCE.
Some people look at long-distance relationships like a hopeless case. Little do they know that many LDR couples are much stronger and more genuine than many couples that are sticking to each other’s cheeks day and night.
What we’re trying to say is that people should not see long-distance relationships as something unfortunate or as wasting time. Why? Because most of the time, the reason for the distance is to prepare for a brighter and better future, married life and family life.
Remember that LDRs can work and will only work out well if everyone in the romantic relationship is willing to give his/her best. Seek help from family and relationship counsellors and expert advisors to know more. For concerns regarding emotional struggles of being in an LDR, you can speak with psychologists or psychiatrists. Family lawyers and legal help are present for any alarming relationship issues involved in toxic long-distance relationships.
Separated by seas? Mountains? Desserts? Countries? And all the things that make you apart from each other? No worries. Love knows no distance. It’s just that trust must always remain, and being trustworthy should never ever be forgotten.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR:
Nicole Ann Pore is a writer, an events host and a voice over artist. Quality and well-researched writing is her worthwhile avenue to enlighten and delight others about things that matter. She is a daytime writer for Adams Lawyers, a team of professionals that offer well-rounded service for all legal needs. Nicole graduated Cum Laude from De La Salle University Manila, Philippines with a Bachelor’s Degree in Communication Arts.